Feminism is being treated like a fungal infection. And it is kind of lame. (Day 8 of 31DBBB Challenge)

A great fear for many women is to be singled out.

To be singled out among their peers.

To be singled out and called the dreaded F-word.

To be called a feminist.

In my last blog post titled, "I shaved my cooch for this?!", I commented on the stigma attached to feminism.

Unfortunately, the word feminism still has an extremist stigma attached to it, largely because it is something that is ignored in the public education system and people still relate the word to man-hating, sex-negative, pseudo lesbian communes full of angry women with permanent shoulder pads and even angrier, 70's bushes.

No, I am not sitting in a room listening to Le Tigre while rocking back and forth and chanting the word "feminism", so I apologize for any initial redundancy. I am writing in response to a post my friend Twitch recently published regarding feminism. So. . .  blame Twitch. And make sure to read her post before continuing.

Twitch starts off by describing her frustration with a random internet commenter's complaint that there were not enough female characters given recognition in an article that listed Top 10 TV Characters of the Decade. Twitch's frustration targeted women who cry sexism at any hint of gender favoritism and advocate for over-the-top political correctness while ignoring basic reasoning. Like the fact that there really were few interesting female characters on television in the last decade.   

Before I go further, let me assure you that I do completely agree that Carmela Soprano was an amazing character and was poignantly executed by actress Edie Falco. Another television show that had dynamic, female characters was Six Feet Under. As for shows that are currently on air, Mad Men has represented all of its lead, female characters to be equally as complex and multi-layered as its male characters, which is one of the reasons why the show is so rich.

Okay, maybe there have been more than just a few beautifully crafted female characters on television in the last decade. And that top ten list of man-centric television characters was pretty horrible, most likely because the dude who devised it watches a lot of shitty TV. But I still agree with Twitch that interesting female characters are hugely out numbered by interesting male characters. And the representation of great female characters in the movies is even more lop sided, a topic which is explored in Rosanna Arquette's documentary, Searching for Debra Winger.

Random Internet Commenter shared a not-so-rare, middle school level view point on gender equality. It's the same perspective that advocates that we should have just as many female firefighters employed as male firefighters. Just because. This conceptualization of gender equality is over simplistic and it ignores the seemingly obvious fact that women are typically disadvantaged to do such a job due to their naturally smaller statures and weaker upper body strength.

So Random Internet Commenter is annoyed that there were no interesting female characters listed. Twitch is annoyed that internet commenter is crying "sexism" when there are no interesting female characters to list. I am annoyed as to why.

Why are there so few interesting female characters on television?

Welcome to Gender Studies 101, guys.

When I took an introduction to Gender Studies class in my first year of university, I, too, had my back up in regards to feminism. My assumptions about feminism were based on the stereotypes of mainstream society-- the collective perception of other people who have no idea what feminism is or who feminists are. Like Twitch, I too, feared being perceived as a man-hater, and assumed that feminism was all about victim declaration and oppressive rules that would tell me who I had to be and how I had to live my life. And if that is what feminism truly was, I wouldn't refer to myself as a feminist today or have any interest in feminist topics. I am the kid who cursed under my breath as we held hands and sang songs about God at the Christian camp I attended when I was eleven, the camp where I was forced to apologize to a kid named Stan for noticing the visibility of his nut sack through the leg of his baggy shorts during Bible study and passing the information around to all the other girls who were sitting in the circle.

Conformity has never been my strong point.

Twitch asked the question, what does feminism even MEAN anymore? Cue another throw back to my last post about shaving the cooch!

In an ideal world, the word feminist would no longer exist, since all feminist really means is that you believe in gender equality: the idea that women should have equal rights and freedoms to men, and that men should have equal rights and freedoms to women.

That's all feminism is, guys, so please don't organize groups of hooded folk to go hunting feminists in the middle of the night.

The different eras of the feminist movement have been broken down into waves: first, second, and third wave feminism. We are currently in the third wave. Each wave has been defined by unique hurdles for women and their fight for equality.

Second wave feminism is probably the most familiar wave of feminism and was defined by the struggle to achieve legal and sexual equality, equality in the work place, reproductive rights, and to explore issues regarding women's familial roles. It also challenged what sociologists refer to as micro or personal politics, which include gender stereotypes regarding  how women should act, what women should be, what women should be interested in, and what women should do.

It's true that third wave feminism has a reputation for being disorganized and lacking focus. Here in the Western world, women have made major strides in achieving equality, thanks to first and second wave feminists, and our inequalities are not nearly as monumental or stifling as those overcome in the past. 

Nowadays, Western women are on par with men in a variety of spheres. We have rights. We have choice. We're comfortable.

Has equal status been met? 

I am willing to bet that the majority of the dominant, feminist figures that fought for equal rights during the Women's Movement of the 60's and 70's would say no. Or possibly, "fuck no." I was twelve years old when I first noticed gaping disparities between my male and female peers and it pissed me off.

And I didn't even know what feminism was at that age.

As a collective society we have embraced a lot of feminist ideology, particularly the goals sought during first and second wave feminism. And while we typically respect the work of our foremothers for giving us the freedoms we now reap, we have abandoned the cause and latched on to brutal stereotypes about what feminism is and who feminists are.  

Annoying, albeit Funny Stereotypes about Feminism:

1. The assumption that first and second wave feminists were not perceived as radical, or that calling yourself a feminist back then did not have negative social connotations. 

They were. It did. Those who instigate change always receive negative backlash and stereotyping.

2. All feminists share the same view points on topics and fight for the same issues.

Again, refer to my definition of feminism. Twitch asked the question whether anti-abortionists could be considered feminists. Yes. If pro-lifers believe that abolishing abortion plays a role in women gaining equality, or if they disconnect the issue of abortion and women's equality altogether, they would still be considered feminists, even if many other feminists would disagree with their view point.

3. All feminists adhere to and support all feminist theory and theorists.

They don't. Feminist theory is about challenging cultural norms that we take for granted. People who are well versed in feminist theory are typically critical when consuming feminist theory, as well. When I studied feminism in post-secondary, it was an expectation that I ripped feminist theories apart with a critical eye. Feminism is not about swallowing information without question and jumping on a bandwagon. It is about critical thinking, challenging conventionalities, and ultimately developing your own position.

4. Any woman who mentions sexism is a seasoned spokesperson for the feminist movement and represents all women who consider themselves feminists.

This is like thinking that Ludacris represents all people who are passionate about black empowerment. Seriously, guys.

5. All feminists are angry, bitter, sexless dorks. And they're all female.

Yes, there are males who refer to themselves as feminists. I have known male feminists. There are feminist, male figures in the mainstream. A male feminist who does amazing work in the feminist field is Jackson Katz, and he doesn't fit any preconceived feminist stereotypes.

For me, openly referring to myself as a feminist creates a platform for debunking feminist stereotypes. If feminism comes up in conversation with someone, and that person is turned off due to the fact that I consider myself a feminist, what do I care? I mean, really.  REALLY. If those who appreciate the challenges that have been overcome and care about the challenges that women still face would embrace the F-word, then maybe the negative stigma associated with feminism would erode and more cohesiveness would be gained. Maybe the word "feminism" would become unnecessary altogether.

According to Wikipedia, I have some radical feminist views.

Me.

The woman who tells offensive jokes, shows too much cleavage, shaves a special do'  into her cooch, and is committed to a man who has politically incorrect names for everyone and everything and is so deeply rooted in stereotypical masculinity that he grunts when communicating.

Obviously radical feminism is pretty subjective. However, it is concerning to me that some girl who is annoyed that her favorite (shitty) female TV characters aren't represented in a list of (shitty) male TV characters could be perceived as a vocal, radical feminist, assuming that was the correlation Twitch was making. Especially since TV List Girl is so naive to feminist theory or the power structures that are at play that she doesn't have the knowledge to aim her frustration at the appropriate target.

I do not think that the majority of women are spraying feminism all over the place. I think that the majority of women are denying feminism altogether. I don't (personally) know anyone right now who considers themselves a feminist. When so few people will refer to themselves as a feminist or be vocal about issues they care about, no one can blame today's "movement" for it's lack of cohesiveness. Another reason why the goals of the current movement are so wishy-washy in the eyes of the the uninformed is because many of the goals that are left are issues that relate to personal politics: the effects of a systemic patriarchy that is rooted so deep that the average person doesn't question it. I discuss an issue that pertains to personal politics in another post titled, Labia Hammocks? Seriously? What's going on with our young girls?

In my experience, the notion that women still have obstacles to overcome is a no-brainer. I've endured many gender-related obstacles throughout the years and some are a permanent resident that will probably never go away in my life time.

I do understand that people have diverse life experiences: issues impact us differently and our values and passions vary. I completely understand why some people have little interest in women's rights. However, I don't understand the hostility towards people who do advocate for equality. We live in a world where women are killed for shaming their families, children are sold into sex slavery, a woman's number one asset is marketed as being her sexuality, and women are still not on par with men in regards to wage.

And we're debating if "feminazis" are making men "less than"?!

Wow, time for some serious reflection.

"I shaved my cooch for THIS?!" (Day 2 of 31DBBB Challenge)

Having strong European genes in conjunction with dark, almost-near Jew hair has made hair removal one of the biggest challenges in my life. Earning a university degree? Yeah. Whatever. It doesn't even compare to all the research I've done regarding Nair, wax strips, five bladed razors, bleach, shaving creams, and hair removal aftercare. I am still waiting for my tax rebate to show up in the mail, the Awww, We're Sorry That Our Society Discriminates So Harshly Against Wolf Children, So Here's Some Money to Help With The Cost Of Those Gillette Razors That Cost $20 For A Pack Of Six rebate. And damn all you blonde girls out there.You should be the ones being taxed for my upkeep. You and your goddamn blonde hair/ blue eyes, Nazi satisfying genes. I am on to you. And yes, I know that my best friend is a blonde, and no, I don't retract that comment. In fact, I should call her right now and tell her to fly out so she can shave my legs for me. YOU HEARD ME.

So summer has rolled in, which means that hair removal is a more prominent thought on many women's minds. I've been considering a post on hair removal for awhile, but when a semi-popular author/ blogger recently incited discussion about "the hair down there", I was officially inspired to put my thoughts into text and arouse some down and dirty discussion about. . . 

SHAVING THE POON.

Many of the responses to that blogger's post were something along the lines of, "I keep my cooch shaved. . . but I do it for ME."

". . . but I do it for me." The least desirable, naively, regurgitated phrase to ever leave the mouths of women. Ever.

The issue of hair removal being a feminist issue was also raised in the comment field. Most seemed baffled as to why this is a feminist issue, although a few, feminist fluent women did share some deeper insights.

Now, before I start throwing around the dreaded F-word, let me assure you that I am not going Euro right now. Hence the opening paragraph to this blog post. I am not rockin' an Ewok poon, or the armpits of Radinka from Slovakia, so this will be the furthest thing from a one sided analysis of hairy bushes. Calm down, okay?

What exactly is a feminist issue, Lojo?

I am glad you asked!

A feminist issue is an issue that pertains to a specific gender, that gender usually being female, but not always, as feminists tend to watch out for everyone--dudes, homos, minorities, etc. Yes, I know. Feminists do deserve a few extra badges on their Beaver sashes.

But those feminists I speak of are the more active, political feminists. In an ideal world, the word feminist would no longer exist, since all feminist really means is that you believe in gender equality: the idea that women should have equal rights and freedoms to men, and that men should have equal rights and freedoms to women. Unfortunately, the word feminism still has an extremist stigma attached to it, largely because it is something that is ignored in the public education system and people still relate the word to man-hating, sex-negative, pseudo lesbian communes full of angry women with permanent shoulder pads and even angrier, 70's bushes.

So sure, hairless poons are a feminist issue, but not in the sense that hairless poons are non-feminist and wild, pube jungles are feminist. That's silly. The fact that this is a feminist issue does not mean that shaving the poon bald is bad, either. It's just one of those things that are worth thinking about and worth discussing in an honest, non-bullshitty kind of way. Not in an, ". . . but I do it for me," kind of way because that kind of limited thinking does nothing in regards to actual empowerment or making mindful decisions.

Lets get one thing straight, besides the very basic, life necessities and possibly tending to our inner most desires, most of the things we do in our lives are in adherence to cultural conformity, not some innate, natural desire. Especially when it comes to esthetics. When people are confronted with the label of conformity, they often become uncomfortable and defensive, as if admitting to basic acts of cultural conformity is a sign of weakness. So they crank out the justifications and the only moderately reasonable excuse they can come up with is, ". . . but I do it for me." And we're all supposed to nod our heads and believe that the widespread adherence to fleeting, cultural trends is merely a coincidence. Right. And I only have to shave my legs once a week.

My Own Experience with Shaving the Cooch

There are things I like about shaving the cooch, and things I don't like about shaving the cooch.  A freshly shaved cooch can intensify a sexual experience. It can also destroy my nether regions to the point where I am "out of commission" for days on end and want to punch men in the face.  Repeatedly.

I was first coerced to go bald when I was eighteen.  At the time my lady parts were nicely manicured. Cute, really. I did go bald for that lover a few times, but the week of pain following my close shaves were almost unbearable. So, eventually I striked a deal with him: I will keep Kitty shaved bald for a month, as long as he kept his package completely shaved for a month. Three days later he uncomfortably picked at his balls and cried in pain as the rashy grow-back crippled his will to live.

And that was the end of that debate.

Nowadays I view a bald beaver as a treat. Something that I will do every now and then. Something for special occasions. Something that I will do when I know that my lady-parts will be under wraps for the week proceeding so I can keep the crime scene of my vulva's recovery to myself.

Over the years I have mastered a system of shaving that works alright for me, and after discussing the topic with some of my female friends, some of them use the same system:

• Shaving the bikini line
• Shaving the under belly
• Keep a manicured "porn patch" on the top

Do I do it for me?

No.

Not really.

I never Bic the entirety of my privates with a razor strictly for myself. I do it for the esthetic pleasure of the man I am with.

I know, girls. Finally. A token of honesty.

Here are some hair removal tips I've honed after almost two decades of shaving. Yes, I've been shaving my legs since I was ten.

Lojo's Most Successful Hair Removal Practices and Products:

1. Gillette Fusion - Five Blade Razor

No, I haven't found any gender specific razors marketed towards women that are on the same level as Gillette's man razors. Apparently Gillette hasn't made the correlation between men's sensitive faces and women's sensitive snatches. Maybe the CEO of Gillette is a baby boomer who is ignorant to the new found pressures women face thanks to porn culture. Maybe he (or she) is a family man/ woman who attended Woodstock in 1969. Sweet, really. Reminds me of the sweetness of my mother. But seriously. Lets get with the program.

2. Nivea for Men Shaving Gel

I don't think Nivea even has shaving gel for women. Like women have body hair, anyway. But I will totally settle for smelling like my boyfriend if it means experiencing the luscious awesome-ness of Nivea's shaving products.

3. Skintimate Shave Cream

The only shaving product marketed towards women that I truly love. Mix this with a little Nivea shave gel and you have created the ultimate shave lube to protect yourself from The Burn. Or The Bleeding. Or accidental body mutilation.

4. Gillette Thermal Face Scrub

This is a product that I recently stumbled upon while grocery shopping with my boyfriend. "You don't need that," he said, "just shave it all off." Why didn't I think of that?! If I shave it all off, then I WON'T have to buy ridiculous products to alleviate razor burn. Silly me!

Aren't men cute? I love them.

The warming scrub is used pre-shave to exfoliate the skin by opening  pores, loosening hair, and making way for a smoother shave. And it really does warm on contact. But be aware that there is a warning on the back that instructs to avoid contact with the lips. And as my boyfriend so eloquently noted, "I am sure that means to avoid contact with your other lips, as well." So if you're using it to shave your cooch, make sure not to get too intimate with it.

5. Vitamin E Ointment

I also came across this in the grocery store and find it is perfect for poon-shave after care. It works great for soothing the "under belly" of your lady parts. Particularly when lace underwear are thrown on afterwards. And a pair of tight jeans.

Boys, you have no idea.

6. Talcom/ Baby Powder

Talcom powder works great for reducing those oh-so unattractive red bumps that tend to show up along the bikini line and ontop of the "pork taco".  Evidently this reduces the moisture and inhibits that lovely rash that so many of us women are accustomed to.

Additional Tips:

• Avoid underwear that is tight around the crotch, as this will cause chaos by chaffing the sensitive areas you've just shaven. Same goes for scratchy lace.
• I also try to avoid cold temperatures following a close shave. I find that if I get chilled and get goosebumps immediately following a shave, then the once smooth, loveliness of my shave turns into a not-having-sex-for-a-week battlefield of rashiness and in-grown hairs.

Now let's discuss. What are your opinions on shaving the cooch? What hair removal practices do you use? What works for you and what doesn't? How do you think strippers do it? And since I haven't brought up waxing or electrolysis, any insights on those methods? If you're not comfortable with publicly commenting on this subject matter, then feel free to comment anonymously.

And for the male readers, feel free to share your opinions, as well. What are your thoughts on women going bald? Do you go bald yourself? What are your shaving practices?

Now I challenge the men reading this to do the Shave Down There - Nut Sack and All challenge for the next three weeks. No, I don't mean buzz it with a pair of clippers. I mean Bic it. Bic it all. And when stubble starts to grow back, Bic it again, bitches.

I tell ya, it would change many women's lives.

Girls Rock! The movie

I came across the trailer for this movie on the internet, and I babbled on about it like a tweaked out homeless person for three weeks before I surrendered to my unsuccessful search of torrent sites and local stores and bought it off Amazon.

Girls Rock! (note the exclamation point) is a documentary about a rock camp in Portland, Oregon where girls between the ages of eight and eighteen spend a week learning an instrument, writing a song within a band, and then performing that song in front of an audience.

Bear sat down and watched the documentary with me after spending the previous month enduring my incoherent babble about "GIRLS ROCK!", which usually involved a lot of air guitaring and riot grrrl growling.

"Are you sure you want to watch this?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"You don't have to."

"UGH, I know. I want to."

"It's about girl empowerment and stuff."

"Babe, I don't pick up on half that stuff anyway."

"Aight then."

But about half an hour into the movie, Grizzly Man made a keen observation:

"Wow... girls are really fucked up."

The issues explored go much deeper than simple rock n' roll. The premise of the camp is to use music as a platform to help young girls develop their confidence, explore self esteem issues, and challenge the mold of traditional femininity. Witnessing a herd of young girls squirm within the confines of girl culture is a bit unsettling. Moderately heart breaking. Their preoccupation with the pressures of beauty ideals and social popularity is one thing, but their inhibitions in regards to breathing air, taking up space, being heard, speaking out, being individualistic-- themselves-- caused a lump in my throat. Apologies are abundant. Expressions are censored. Behaviour is uncomfortable and awkward. It made me want to hug them all and blubber in one of those nasal, hiccup, half cries, "it will be okay, IT WILL BE OKAY."

Girls Rock! is also really, really adorable, particularly the scene when little Palace overcomes her inhibitions and develops her own riot grrrl scream, as seen in the trailer above. However, my favorite camper depicted in the documentary is Amelia, an experimental, self proclaimed musician who writes songs about her dog, Pipi, and who very obviously would be classified as ADHD in a public school setting. She's the one in the trailer who is rocking out so passionately that she slumps down on the floor Jimi Hendrix style.

By the end of their rock camp experience, many of the girls documented come out of their shells. One of the older girls, Laura, verbalizes her realization that as a female she is equally as capable as males to write music, rock out, and be in the lime light rather than sit on the side lines and pine over rock stars-- could definitely be construed as a metaphor for many deeper gender issues that still, and in some ways, increasingly plague our culture.

For anyone who is interested in the subject matter and want to learn more about the documentary, I found a great review of Girls Rock! at KQED Arts.

In related news, has anyone watched that youtube video of the three year old girl crying over Justin Bieber (Canada's newest prepubescent pop star)? If you haven't already seen it, it's worth the watch if you hit the link above. You'll laugh. While cringing, of course. Do you think maybe, just maybe, we all need to collectively move on from celebrity culture? Re-focus? This shit makes me want to put a gun in my mouth.

Boobies.

On August 23rd, our neighbors down south celebrated "National Go Topless Protest Day."

As far as I know, the Canadian provinces of Ontario, Saskatchewan, and British Columbia ruled that women going topless in public was not a criminal act of indecency. I assume that since these rulings (which took place in the late 90's), more provinces have followed suit. That being said, the fight to go topless isn't in my radar, nor is it an issue that seems to grapple my Canadian peers. Which is cool, 'cause instead of worrying about feeling the cool breeze on our tits, we can focus on other things.

Like rape statistics.

The official gotopless.org website cites:

How are we helping women? GoTopless is committed to helping women perceive their breasts as noble, natural parts of their anatomy (whether they are nursing or not). Breasts shouldn’t have to be “modestly” or shamefully hidden from public view any more than arms, legs or feet.

How are we helping men? GoTopless is also committed to helping men differentiate between nudity and sexuality. If the presence of a topless woman in public triggers a sexual impulse, it can easily be controlled in the same way men control themselves when they see a woman wearing a mini skirt or revealing ample cleavage. Men manage to appreciate these things while still showing respect! Choosing consciousness above hormones leads to a peaceful, respectful society providing additional freedom and beauty.

Trinity and Saharah (left) protest the right to maximize their noble and natural financial investments. Mavis (third from the left), who has not worn a bra since 1976, claims that despite her breasts falling below her belly button, the freedom to go topless far outweighs the chronic upper back pain she now endures.

Sounds peachy. I can see it now:

"Yo, brah, check out those set of hooters!"

"Now hold up, Chad. A woman's breasts are part of her exterior temple, no different than an arm or a leg, except that breasts provide nourishment to feed our young. They are not objects to be ogled over, or rated on a scale from one to ten, but natural symbols of femininity that deserve our respect."

"I am sorry. You're right. Have I mentioned how much I love babies?"

And then a unicorn saunters by in a valley of rainbows.

I don't buy the idea that women going topless will free North Americans from their sexual repression. Our culture is obsessed with fame and plasticity, images and polished exteriors, a prototype of what beauty is and the chase to conquer that beauty, whether it's obtaining it ourselves, or simply exploiting someone else who has it. That is the root of our sexual repression, and if women going topless was to become a social norm in these parts of the world, that sexual repression would still be there, which is demonstrated to perfection on gotopless.org.

Because obviously it's detrimental to our fight for equality that twelve year old girls be saved from the sight of overweight, middle aged men, but hot women with double D implants? Finally, equality will be ours!!

When I last visited Saskatoon, my best friend and I sat on the riverbank and watched a shirtless, middle aged man jog passed and my best friend commented as to how women should have the same liberty. In retrospect, I guess the women of Saskatchewan do. As I glanced over at my best friend's athletic figure, petite breasts standing at attention, I wondered what it would be like if women going topless was a commonly accepted social mores.

I imagine what it would be like to pop into my parents' place and see my mother gardening in the backyard while sporting a tilly hat and a pair of free floatin' boobies. Or giving topless grandma a bear hug after a lengthy absence. Or the immense joy brought to our local pedophiles at the sight of an eleven year old girl playing in the park with her developing rose buds soaking up the summer sun. Best of all, we could smile and laugh when a passerby gets hit in the eye with breast milk, and then we could hold hands and sing Kumbaya and watch for more unicorns.

So lets say that the majority of women did let their boobies jiggle in public on warm, summer days. Would the everyday exposure of breasts, and I don't mean Halle Berry's rack in a Blockbuster, but real boobies-- stretch marked, saggy, asymmetrical, nipples post breastfeeding, breasts that lived through the Vietnam war-- weaken the perception of them as mere sexual objects? Or would men continue to perceive breasts as a sexual wonder? Would they walk through the street tripping over themselves at the sight of exposed breasts? And due to the lack of blood to the brain, would women completely take over the world and substitute men with dildo factories and semen distribution?

Ideally I would like to live in a world rid of Girls Gone Wild and men giving women beads to flash their boobies, but I'd also like to live in a world where men between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-five do not act like they are seventeen. I admit that I kind of like the fact that when I show cleavage my boyfriend's face is shoved in it, like my breasts are a chocolate mousse dessert that radiates decadence. I like the fact that when I am intimate with a man, my breasts are a source of sexual attraction, like a mystery only to be exposed to those I hand select. If breasts actually were perceived as just an arm or a leg, I wonder if I would miss that personal aspect to them.

As much fun as it sounds to have my cats bat at my hanging breasts like cheap toys from China while I bend over to tie my shoes, I still have trouble ignoring the physiological difference between men and women's breasts. As in women have them and men don't. And while I do think that it's unjustified for women to be arrested or fined for being seen bare breasted in public, I just don't perceive my ability to walk down the street with my breasts out as a real achievement for the women's movement.

Knah, I just don't.