Wednesday
Mar052008

Just another night shift

J: "Fight the invisible ninja!"

L: "Kick 'em in the balls!"

J: "INVISIBLE SAC."

L: "HAIRY BALLLSSSSSSSSS."

Jesse and I motivate each other as we demonstrate a throw down: the latest hardcore dance style that resembles "fighting an invisible ninja".

Saturday
Feb162008

Post-Breakup Anger

Breaking up is one of those uncomfortable experiences that has become extremely familiar to me. Frustration. Loss. Renewal. Reawakening. When I was twelve a break up meant I hate you, but now it means symbolically divorcing myself from someone I still care about. . . someone who I can no longer function with, someone who no longer makes me happy.

There are times when I wonder why I hung on for so long. Was I that addicted to hope? Did love cloud my judgment? Did I subconsciously hate myself and feared being alone?

The longer that I am single, the more I realize how underestimated I was in my last relationship. I wasn't devalued in an insulting or degrading way, at least not in the last few years, but standards were low, incredibly low, and I'm still baffled as to why he thought our situation was okay, or how he whole heartedly believed that a young woman like myself would simply accept and settle.

I'm still expected to buckle at the knees when I receive attention, empty promises, or flowery expressions of love, and it infuriates me. This is where he thinks I'm going to play the goof. Then he thinks I'm going to go back to playing the savior. Instead, I'm playing the asshole.

It's ironic how one woman can put up with so much pain, betrayal, and bullshit, and still come out as the bad guy. Unfortunate for him, I no longer care.

Tuesday
Feb122008

Lil' Buddy rocks out

My co-worker, Lil' Buddy, performs his hardcore, death metal scream while jamming with his band:

I can't make out the lyrics, but I assume they go something like, my supervisor is the best supervisor in the world [DEATH GROWL].

Saturday
Feb022008

Firecrotch is a bad omen

I had to take down my Six Degrees of Skronking Jared Leto poll due to an html gliche that disabled the voting after it logged one. This is what I get for using a polling system generated by Blogger's so easy a retarded cat could use it blogging layout.

The motivation behind the poll was to uncover why so many people I know have slept with or know of someone who has slept with Jared Leto. Is Mr. Catalano a celebrity man whore? Or do people just wish he was?

Since the poll was a no-go, I did some behind-the-scenes research. I compiled the following evidence:

This is a before and after shot of Jared demonstrating an extreme weight fluctuation that he endured for a movie role. In the center photo you will notice that he is sexily posed with Bif, an Aryan auto mechanic from Brandon, Manitoba.

This artistic masterpiece mocks a comment that Jared made stating that he is "gayer than a goose". This would explain why some of the Jared skronkers I know are gay males.

Here is a heavier set Jared photographed next to Satan-- evidence that he will, in fact, boink anything.


I cannot make any solid conclusions at this time, but until he stops hanging out with Firecrotch, I will accept all Jared Leto rumors as factual.

If you have any of your own skronking Jared stories to share, please do so in my comment section.

Friday
Feb012008

Recent Headline

A recent headline reads...

Dad left babies in a field: Saskatchewan reserve devastated after sisters, aged 1 and 3, found frozen

Whether it's getting drunk, passing out and freezing to death, getting drunk, passing out and leaving your kids to freeze to death, or getting drunk and freezing to death after the Pigs drop you off outside of the city, Saskatchewan has now been declared the get shit faced and freeze to death capital of Canada.

Dad has officially lost his danger pay privileges.