home Uncategorized Manhunt Friday: Media Ball Dropping, Government Opacity, and the Mysterious Tsarnaev Brothers

Manhunt Friday: Media Ball Dropping, Government Opacity, and the Mysterious Tsarnaev Brothers

The media buzzed as if it were on a three day meth binge. The story was as follows: the bombing suspects, now identified as brothers Tamerlan Tsarnaev and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, had shot and killed a MIT campus police officer before battling it out Call of Duty style in a suburban street of Watertown.


This is my “eye witness” rendition of the early morning events as reported by media and officials, which continues to be regurgitated, spliced, and contradicted like a patch work quilt sewn by a fleet of meth heads:

  • The brothers killed a MIT police officer.
  • The suspects car jacked some guy for his Mercedes car. No, SUV. No, car. No, SUV. No, car. At some point they transported their arsenal of weapons from one vehicle to another.
  • They held the guy hostage. No, they didn’t hold him hostage.
  • The brothers conversed with the carjackee: “Hear about the Boston bombings? NEENER-NEENER-NEENER – we ARE the Boston bombers,” they lamented with a chortle before giving each other high-five.


  • They stole the guy’s ATM card.
  • No, they did hold him hostage, but he escaped when they went into a convenient store with his ATM card to get Doritos and Red Bull. I repeat, Doritos and Red Bull. No, they left the convenient store empty handed.
  • The suspects robbed the convenient store. No, that’s not right. The convenient store had been robbed by other people the same time the suspects were there. No, there was no convenient store robbery.
  • Law enforcement tracked down the Mercedes via the owner’s cell phone, which he had left in the vehicle, and the suspects and law enforcement shared 100s of rounds of ammunition in the street.
  • Suspects threw a grenade. Suspects threw a pressure cooker bomb full of metal shrapnel 20 yards. It detonated. It didn’t detonate. No, it did detonate and it shook houses. Suspects threw pipe bombs. Suspects unleashed pet Tyrannosaurus Rex.


Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

  • The suspects stole a police SUV. No, the suspects didn’t steal a police SUV.
  • A guy (identification unknown – might have been Tamerlan) is photographed spread eagle at gun point but is never acknowledged by big media– probably some dude taking his dog for a walk at 3 AM in a suburban bullet storm.
  • Tamerlan was stripped naked, cuffed, and put in a police car (witnessed, documented, and the suspect’s Aunt confirms 100% that it was her nephew).


  • Tamerlan had a bomb strapped to his chest – no bomb squad, or any sort of bomb intervention was necessary–phhfftt, it was all good.
  • Tamerlan was never arrested and was shot dead. Tamerlan was also run over by his brother.
  • Younger brother, Dzhokhar, rammed vehicle through law enforcement – yep, must have been a SUV.
  • No, Tamerlan was never run over. An eye witness says police ran over Tamerlan.
  • No, Tamerlan is alive. Tamerlan is dead.
  • Image of mangled corpse laying on table surfaces online – allegedly Tamerlan. Consensus grows that Tamerlan is dead.
  • What about the arrest photo of the naked guy?
  • Fuck it, lets just go with the dead guy thing – the Feds would have killed him after arrest, anyway.
  • Dzhokhar somehow fled and alluded an army of cops in suburbia because he’s mother fucking Jason Bourne, and Boston was put on lock down.

The Feds and the Battle Suits moved in, sweeping the area, and doing door-to-door, household checks.


It would later be reported that the Battle Suits shoved guns in peoples faces, went through people’s belongings, and confiscated some firearms and drugs. Upsetting? Yes. Getting used to living in a police-state will require an adjustment period. But still not as upsetting as this Fed unnecessarily bruising his vagina:


  • CNN reported that the Battle Suits were prepping for a controlled explosion in a house to ensure the safety of law enforcement – is that protocol? Blow shit up to see if shit will blow up? Oops, I forgot, don’t ask questions.
  • No, forget the controlled explosion. What controlled explosion?
  • CNN reported that law enforcement was using tear gas. Tear gas? What tear gas?

Live media reporting fell into a lull.

Media had done an okay job demonizing the now decidedly deceased older brother, Tamerlan as swaying towards Islamic radicalism and “not having many American friends.” The brothers’ Uncle, an oil executive who is now reported to have been on the CIA’s payroll, and seems to be involved in a slew of shady activity, was quick to shit-talk his nephews, particularly Tamerlan, stating he was a “loser,” consequently giving the media some solid material to beat off to. But attention had gravitated towards little brother as the man hunt continued, and media began devising a character sketch of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. Fuck it. I’m going to refer to him as Dzhokhar Bourne from here on.


According to friends, peers, professors, etc., Dzhokhar Bourne was: friendly, nice, funny, liked wrestling, worked as a life guard, easy going, had a lot of friends from diverse ethnicities, was well liked, was well assimilated into American culture, was studying medicine, enjoyed socializing and attending parties. No one who knew him could wrap their head around his supposed ninja-terrorist alter-identity. It was almost as if the CIA had done a shitty job of choosing a patsy.

The media got in touch with the brothers’ Aunt and she cried “set up.” The media got in touch with the father and mother of the brothers, and they, too, cried “set up.” Then their mom spilled the beans that the FBI had been harassing Tamerlan for years, and had not only had past contacts with her, as well, but had also contacted Tamerlan after the bombing. The FBI later verified that yes, Tamerlan had been on their watch list and they had engaged with him. Later on, evidence mounts that the brothers may have been ‘FBI assets’, although by the time I publish this, I’m sure there will be a dozen new, mind numbing rabbit holes to contradict this information.


So the FBI released photos of their suspects and requested the public’s help in identifying them (thus tipping the suspects off and enabling them to hide, flee, or prep for violence), when they were already known to them and flagged on their radar. Low-level police investigations don’t roll this way, let alone intelligence-out-the-wazoo, FBI watch operations.


The lull continued and the lockdown was lifted. Shortly after, a neighborhood resident noticed part of his boat’s tarp had become unhinged, and when he looked inside the boat he saw a figure. A helicopter rockin’ infrared imaging confirmed that a warm body was, indeed, laying in the boat.


Apparently utilization of the infrared imaging during the 12 hours prior, when Battle Suits were rummaging through people’s houses, was outside of their budget.

Before those details were released, CNN reported:

  • Hearing gun shots and seeing hoards of law enforcement personnel rushing towards Franklin Street.
  • Dzhokhar Bourne was cornered.
  • Time passed. The sun set. Eventually they had him. Bostonian onlookers cheered. Yes, we’re safe now! All hail the State!

When Manhunt Friday 2013 came to an end, Dzhokhar Bourne was hospitalized and shackled. There was talk he may be designated ‘enemy combatant’ status’, but instead he was ultimately charged with ‘weapon of mass destruction conspiracy’, and was read his Miranda rights.

I was floored they took Dhokhar Bourne alive, but not so floored when they reported he couldn’t talk due to his injuries. The dodgy opaqueness of the information offered from American officials (and their media puppets) amplified with reports surrounding his capture and current state of being.

  • Dzhokhar Bourne had been shot in the head, neck, leg, and hand – some injuries had been acquired during early morning shoot out 12 hours earlier, and he had lost a lot of blood.
  • He had not acquired his injuries during the early morning shoot out with police.
  • The injury he acquired to his neck was the result of a botched suicide attempt.
  • Dzhokhar Bourne had engaged in further gun fire with law the Battle Suits from inside the boat.
  • No weapon was found in the boat – Dzhokhar had not been armed.

The image below shows Dzhokhar Bourne hoisting himself out of the boat.


I’m not implying it’s an impossibility for Dzhokhar Bourne to walk and/ or hoist himself out of a boat after enduring four gun shot wounds, two above the neck, and possibly bleeding out for half a day– what the hell do I know?– I’m just saying I’m impressed. In my eyes, the rendition of events upgraded Dzhokhar from Jason Bourne, to 50 Cent, to fucking Terminator.


But his Termintor status was quickly awash, as seen in the photo below. Not only do you realize this truly is a 120 lbs, 19 year old college kid who was supposedly attending parties and smoking weed on his stoop a few days before Manhunt Friday, but we now see him officially fucked (and allegedly having his throat cut n’ tubed as a result of his suicide attempt with an invisible gun).


Now Dzhokhar Bourne is in hospital, presumably drugged. Media is reporting he is unable to speak, and that may never speak again, but they are also reporting that Dzhokhar has been ratting himself out. Well no – he’s gone silent since receiving his Miranda rights. Except he was always silent because he can’t talk. No, that’s wrong, heis ratting himself out – American officials said so.

We may never know what truths lie behind this event or the involvement of the Tsarnaev brothers. While mulling over the details of this Alice in Wonderland-esque mind-fuck may be inconsequential to the bigger picture – a bigger picture which will undoubtedly include government enforced implications, both globally and on American soil (see 9/11 for reference) – I think there is value in dragging out these inconsistencies like an 8 minute long Meatloaf song. Why? Because Western culture has been conditioned to believe Government is God: truth, justice, protection, thecreator of our democracy, the creator of our freedom. The disengagement and passivity this blind faith has bred, even as our so-called democracy transcends into balls-out corporatocracy is, in itself, murderous to democracy. We are the creators of democracy. We are democracy’s life line. If we fail to think about incidents like the Boston Bombing critically, or ask questions, or demand a standard of transparency; if we repeatedly turn our attention away from opportunities of knowledge to distract ourselves with shiny things, as if justice will rise if we ignore injustices; if we complacently adhere to whatever new laws, practices, or wars are triggered as a result of such an event, both in the U.S. and globally, then we are castrated – we are doomed.

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