New Goal: To Stop Dressing Like A Transsexual Named Bif

Prior to moving to Red Deer, Alberta, my mother forewarned me about Red Deerian fashion.

"The people here . . . they . . . they wear sweat pants . . . in public," hissed the woman who had spent the majority of her adult life collecting outfits specific for shopping excursions, the woman who once rocked a deep purple trench coat with two inch high, power diva shoulder pads, the woman who had sat in a lecture hall at the U of S surrounded by a cloud of cigarette smoke while adorning a fur coat prior to society realizing that the fur trade is ethically fucked, the woman who, since the age of seventeen, had been with a man who would not leave the house without changing into his "good slacks", the woman who could remember exactly what she wore on that random day in 1964 when she peddled down Lansdowne Avenue in Saskatoon on her bicycle with her dog, Fuzzy shoved into the front basket like drooly infant with a developmental disability.

Mom was right. Upon moving to Red Deer I discovered two things: plastic testicles that hung from the back of large trucks, and a flacid sense of fashion.

Mom and I assured each other that we would not succumb to the blah fashion that plagued our new home. But as Mom settled into retirement out on the acreage, and I became swept into the routine of my dirty night shift position and a lack of having a life, Mom and I gradually faltered. Although me more than her. Five years have passed, and not only have I become fashionably lazy, I now dress like a bull dyke.

Dressing like a bull dyke has its perks. It's efficient, easy, cheap, and enthusiastically celebrates bleached band shirts and plaid. But it's not flattering, or creative, nor is it much of an expressive outlet. As much as I wish I were a bull dyke, it's just not me. Or at least not me in the holistic sense. Okay, maybe it's a little me. But if you experienced the last 10 years of my dating life, you'd be a bit of a bull dyke, too.

It's been hard to stay fashionably inspired during my five years of living in Red Deer, again, largely due to the nature of my job, and borderline inexistent social life, but also as a result of shifts in my figure, which have required me to retire some of my much loved pieces. More than anything, this city isn't warm to expressive fashion. Back in Saskatoon, particularly during my college years, I wore pretty much whatever I wanted. The bitches swooned over my 1970's coat with the fur collar (GOD, it was vintage. LAY OFF!) that I wore with an equally retro, oversized broach, and the bros high fived me when I wore my mini skirt with knees high socks and a pair of Vans. But now all my cool shit is packed away in my closet in a plastic Rubbermade container, partially because a lot of it no longer fits, but also because if I went out on the street in Red Deer rockin' it like I once did, I don't think anyone would get it.

 They just wouldn't understand.

Red Deer has impressive shopping for being a small metropolis, and has excellent access to larger cities, too. But in Red Deer, fashionable expression tends to peak around mainstream , and I mean really mainstream. When it's not defined by overdone trends, it's defined by a Trailer Park Boys kind of casual. I'm not saying that Red Deer has completely flat lined in regards to inspirational fashion, I'm just saying that the Sartorialist won't be visiting any time soon.

Now that the hot weather has arrived, the girls are wearing Those Shorts again-- the ones that allow the labia to be worn inside the garment or outside of the garment, and the men have taken to removing their UFC affiliated shirts altogether in a last ditch effort to, well, make people look at them. Yesterday I stumbled upon a douche bag convention in the parking lot of a Tim Hortons and witnessed a topless man laying on the roof of a truck. When he failed to receive the attention he desired, which I can only assume was to have other closeted, and ironically, homophobic men throw coins at his waxed nipples, he began gyrating his groin against the surface of the truck's roof as if he were a paid dancer working at a club called Man Hole.

This is what happens when fashion conformity becomes too restrictive in a modestly populated area and the eco-system of style falls out of wack: douche bags publicly hump inanimate objects. And that's not okay.

I am planning some life rejuvenation for the upcoming year, and to begin this new chapter, I would like to encourage myself to stop dressing like a bull dyke. Or like someone who resides in a trailer park. Circa 1994. I am not inviting myself to wear my labia majora on the outside of my shorts, or to rock a pair of $200 white sunglasses. But maybe I could . . . you know . . . try. Putting together cute outfits and demonstrating a little self pride used to be fun, after all.

Comments

[Elizabeth]

It’s so easy to get into a style rut! I want to try harder, too. I find summer a little easier because I can just throw a dress on and it looks like a tried, when really it’s the easiest outfit to put together! But what I find difficult is my lifestyle as Mom. I’ll think to wear a particular outfit but then think, nah, Andrew would have it stained with something in 2 seconds, or it wouldn’t be comfortable because I’ll no doubt be sweating as I race after him, so I just wear something casual and sort of non-descript. Years back I used to think of myself as fairly stylish, and I definitely used clothing as a means of expressing myself. But now…I’d stay in my pj’s all day if I could, as sad as that sounds. It’s just easier! But NO, I PROMISE YOU – I am NOT one of those people who wears her pajamas out in public!!! And certainly not the sweat pants look your mom was warning you about. I know the ones, too – we’re not talking Lululemon yoga wear, we’re talking nasty trailer trash grey sweatpants with the elastic at the bottom…Makes me cringe every time I see that look! LOL

[Trista]

so weird! I thought I posted a comment but it didn't show up.

anywho, I too need a fashion overhaul. not even just a shift, I need a WHOLE overhaul.
it's so easy to get caught up in comfy clothes, especially when I'm mostly at home, going for walks, playing with the boy, etc. but I need something.

what I really need is someone to tell me what clothes to wear, because I'm kinda sucky at fashion! I need to accessorize too.

anyway, anxious to follow your fashion journey and see what you pick up. love your vintage looks that you've had in the past.
xo

[Lojo]

I can definitely understand how easy it would be to fall into a style rut as a mom, particularly as a mom to a baby or a small child. Like I wrote in the entry, I can't even maintain style with the job I work. I go to Value Village to buy work clothes, and I can't wear anything nice or valuable to work because it's a given that I'll wreck it with grease, dirt, or permanent marker, or just rip/ cut holes in it. In my down time, I find that I'm just too sleep deprived to really give a shit. I need a whole overhaul, too, Trista! And Liz, am I an asshole for despising Lululemon strictly because I'm jealous of the women who can pull them off? Yes? ;) I've always liked your style in the past, Trista. And thanks for the vintage fashion compliment. Maybe the key to getting out of the style rut is fashion organization-- finding pieces that you can mix and match and easily swap out and interchange. Maybe a flow chart? ;) Let me know if you guys have anymore problems with commenting. I'm with Squarespace, and I've been having some minor problems with this site lately. Wish I could go back to Blogger, but I don't think I can move my entries back over to a Blogger site. Gah!