Detoxing From 31DBB Challenge: Part I
August 24, 2010 So I didn't complete Feel Good Week 2010. I have been too busy experiencing my 100th relapse into quarter-life crisis.
And all I can muster the energy to do is eat gummy sours and watch HGTV.
I blame the Sits Girls 31 Day Better Blogger Challenge, which wrapped up last week and left me with an uncomfortable case of creative constipation.
And a temporary sense of doom.
The challenge was based on a really positive premise: complete the 31 Day Better Blogger work book within a community of women with a focus on networking and supporting each other's blogs. It sounded really great, and for many women it was really great. Unfortunately the sign-up page should have noted to proceed with caution if you are not a stay-at-home mommy. Or Tipper Gore.
Here is some back story.
I am a frustrated writer-- a true, rebellious creative type, with a job-market unfriendly arts degree and numerous years under my belt working the graveyard shift at my glorified retail warehouse job. In retrospect, my education has made me a better writer, and my job is perfect for writing, and for those things I am grateful. Nonetheless, I don't exactly feel like I have reached my potential.
A few years back, after half a decade of failed attempts to score a professional career, I also abandoned the notion of getting more practical education, mostly because I couldn't clearly decipher an area I would excel in that would require low-committal upgrading and would be a positive, financial alternative to my current work situation. So I took it as a sign and decided that I would pursue my passion, which is something that has always played a dominant role in my life, anyway, and that passion is writing.
At this point I had already done casual freelance work for local newspapers, and I had no idealisms regarding a legit writing career. Writing about shit you don't care about just for the sake of writing sucks geriatric elephant balls. And you can't even write things like "geriatric elephant balls". WHAT'S THE POINT? I knew I would be happier putting energy into my own writing, even if it were only as a hobby, instead of writing piece after piece of mindless dribble for a wage that is on par with a monthly welfare cheque. Bottomline, I discovered that my desire to write is based on expressing myself through written word, not simply the act of writing itself.
Since I had already been blogging for years, I made the decision to treat blogging with more seriousness and to learn whatever I could in hopes that maybe someday I could use my blog as an entrepreneurial starting point for making money through my writing. The Sits Girls 31 Day Better Blogger Challenge was a huge learning experience for me, and strangely, the work book took a back seat to the lessons I learned from participating within the community. Unfortunately, the lessons I learned sucked.
When it comes to the blogosphere, networking is everything. And networking is largely dependent on belonging to a niche. The ability to network within a niche is also key to scoring advertisers and actually making money.
What's your niche?
Good question.
It became apparent to me that the majority of the women in this challenge had blogs based on pretty narrow, stereotypically feminine niches: motherhood, parenting, cooking, organization, crafting, home decor, fitness, nutrition, fertility, infertility, house wifery, etc., and the fuel behind their momentum were each other. Due to this challenge, my Twitter account has become Female Domestication Cyber-Hell, and I have about 250 people I need to delete before I can free my account of tweets marketed towards 1950s housewives and resume reading communications that are actually relevant to me. Those of us whose blogs did not adhere to specific, stereotypically feminine topics were left floundering on the forum posting threads like, "Help! I can't figure out what niche I belong to!"
It has been hard to accept the now obvious reality that successful blogging isn't based on attributes like quality, originality, or even interesting writing. Just like the real world, selling a blog has more to do with whoring a commodity or commodifiable lifestyle, or ideally to do both in conjunction. However, what has truly disturbed me is what is commodifiable among these women in the blogosphere, which is predominantly house wifery.
Unfortunately, I've been putting a lot of weight on this blogging stuff. And I've gone from feeling like I was ascending up a very steep hill in a wheelchair to battling Mount Everest without legs. While riding a skate board. And at this point, I don't have a plan B.
Over the next week I will be discussing my detox from the 31 Day Better Blogger Challenge in more detail with Part II: Overcoming the Urge to Douche My Vagina, and Part III: Life After Rehab.
31DBB, Sits Girls, aspiration, career, women in reflections, review
Reader Comments (6)
I was wondering where you were....
I also love to write- but only about crap I like to write about. I don't ever think I'd be able to do articles on stuff I don't care for.
I totally relate to the 31DBBB thing. While I learned stuff, and I even found a few 'mommy' blogs that I like because they're hilarious and drop the f-bomb all the time, I totally don't have a niche.
I think a lot of mommy bloggers have used blogging as an outlet- a way to get out of the house. Which is great for them. But I feel like most of them either have no interest in anything besides being a mom or they have been a mom for so long that they don't even know where to start.
That's why I'm so happy to have found you...aww....uh...um, okay. Now that I've totally freaked you out- want to be my bloggy buddy? Is that what they call it now days?
OK well obviously I am a mommy blogger given that most of my posts have to do with Andrew...although I still don't feel I really fit a niche either because it's not like I'm out there promoting myself and getting 'in' with all my fellow mom-bloggers out there. I just blog what I do because I want to...Sometimes just to remember certain days events, other times to vent about whatever. It's true that the things I write about are fairly narrowed to the life I'm living at the moment...and I suppose it is a stereotypical female role, given that I am currently a stay-at-home mom. But I am still a feminist and still have other interests in life besides mommyhood, and I don't like to think of myself as living a stereotype, even if I am!!!
All that being said, I love reading blogs (yours being tops on my list) that don't just talk about the stuff I'm going through in my life right now. And sometimes you do write about things I'm thinking about but might not be able to put into words, which is awesome. You have a SERIOUS knack for writing and I'm not just saying that, you really, really have talent. You might not have a niche on that particular blogger challenge website or whatever, but I don't think a niche like that SHOULD be required. I seriously think you can and will and HAVE TO BECAUSE YOU'RE SO AWESOME AT IT go places with your writing so don't give up hope!!
I have thought about this before, of you writing a column for a magazine or the stories that you read in magazines. Obviously I could see you writing novels etc as well, but this is something where you could keep the job you have now to have the freedom to spend time writing during the day...I guess what I'm trying to say is that I find your writing truly entertaining and you have an original edge to your voice in writing. Anyone would be a fool not to hire you to write for them! So keep at it, there has to be a solution to this.
That's how I feel as well, I don't like to write unless I choose the topic and I really care. That's the main reason I have totally ruled out a career in writing.
I look forward to your next few installments!
Totally agree, Lieutenant Suz. And I am so happy that I found you, too. Cyber meeting you made all the baking posts I had to endure via this challenge totally worth it. We are officially blog buddies. And if you ever want to dress up in army gear and have a pillow fight, although a virtual pillow fight, I am all for it. Also, you should hook me up with some of these f-bomb flinging blogger mom websites. I love f-bombing moms.
Liz: Awww, thanks for the support, home fry. It means a lot to me. You don't even know how much. And I don't conceptualize you as a mommy blogger.You don't even know how thick the mommy bloggerness is out there. In actuality, many of my favorite blogs are parenting blogs, and, like your blog, I have emotional investment in the blogger and the blogger's family. I will write about this in more detail in my next post and explain more. I will figure this stuff out-- just hit a bump in the road, I suppose. That's one of the reasons why I decided to write about my current struggle on here. I think it's time to start thinking outside the box and seeing if my friends and the people who read my blog have any suggestions or advice for me. Thanks again, Liz.
Twitch: Dude. For my first freelance article I had to write about a fertilizer plant in small town Alberta. And I had to travel to report on the topic. And I was paid $40. This writing thing is definitely not a simple path.
Creative writing used to be a huge part of who I was, but I lost touch with it for 5+ years, mostly I think because of the nature of my undergrad studies, which have nothing to do with creative writing whatsoever. It has only been recently that I've been working on adding creative writing back to my identity-resume, and it has been challenging, to say the least. Even writing my blog (which I keep deleting and un-deleting due to my frustration) is challenging because I feel like I have so much to say, but I can't get the words out - so I post recipes instead, haha, as a weak attempt at making a contribution.
Anyway, this might not work for you, it all depends on your personality type, but I've found that having goals or targets in mind with my writing has helped me a little bit. There are a lot of great creative writing contests out there that, with their structure and deadlines, have given me motivation, a bit of inspiration, and something to work towards. It has been hard to get the juices flowing without a purpose in mind, but having a "reason" to write has helped me out. Eventually, I hope to get back to my old self, where writing was never forced, by rather an organic, spontaneous occurrence. In the meantime, the added bit of structure - like handing in assignments for an English class - is helping to corral my creative energies into something workable.
Some of these contests have pretty damn good prizes, too, which is a bit of added motivation. Here is a good link to some contests, if you're interested:
http://www.be-a-better-writer.com/creative-writing-contests.html
Also, I wouldn't let not being part of a solid "niche" get you down too much. The most celebrated writers are celebrated because theirs is a voice that is unique. Besides, maybe not belonging to a niche is a niche in itself.
Good luck with your future writing!
Thanks for the input, Terri! And the link, too. I will definitely check it out.
My inspiration, or lack of inspiration seems to depend on what style I am trying to write. Finding inspiration to blog or write article-esque pieces is easy as pie. On the other hand, creative writing and writing fiction are areas where my inspiration comes and goes, and the waves seem so organic that I feel like I have little control over it. Ironically, it's the creative writing and the fiction that I find to be the most invigorating and therapeutic. Typically I will spend three to four months a year writing fiction for about eight hours a day, and then one day I wake up and the drive has been sucked from my system. It's almost bizarre. Interesting to hear about some of the methods you use to invoke inspiration.
Thanks for the support :)