Things I have learned as a writer

To the relief of my mom, and possibly my boyfriend, and to the disappointment of Laura, who might throw my manuscript across the room after reading it and yell, "where the hell is the bondage?!", the zombie apocalypse novel I am writing has surpassed the erotica genre and has morphed into a more subdued, character driven love story. I have conceptualized the whole plot, which is hunky dory, but I am currently at a stand still. I have read that when writing fiction it is common to lose your flame around the second act. My second act happens to be chapter five. Screw you, chapter five!

This isn't my first attempt at a massive fiction project. Remember years ago when I'd drop the odd, seemingly pretentious comment about "my novel"? After years of tinkering away at that on and off, all I produced was a lot of notes, a solid character synopsis, and one concrete scene. As for plot, I just couldn't make it happen, probably because that story was largely driven by my own therapeutic needs instead of a drive to tell the story. Because, well, I didn't really have a story.

One of the most valuable things I've learned about writing over the years is that writing is not simply a selfish, therapeautic act that creates brilliant pieces of work by default. From my experience, the biggest mistake among those of us who are rookie writers is that writing is often treated as an egocentric activity. Writing that is truly valuable has a purpose for the audience reading it, and although that purpose may vary from piece to piece, the common thread is that it is enjoyable to read and the audience pulls energy from it. Those who are long time readers of my blog probably noticed a shift in my writing a few years ago when I overcame the habit of using self publishing as a mode to vent or create long winded declarations about my inner feelings. I knew that I wanted to do more with my writing than just keep an online diary. In fact, I didn't want to keep an online diary at all. I wanted my writing to develop, and that switch in philosophy has made my writing stronger and more enjoyed by those who read it.

The hardest thing I've had to do as a writer is block out conventional notions of success and just concentrate on developing my craft. The thought process of Where will this go? Is it worth my time? is an automatic creativity drain and a recipe for failure.

I've also learned that writing fiction takes an incredible amount of ongoing research, both for the content of the story and the art of fiction writing itself. Doing research for this particular project has taught me a lot about blood and brain matter and the crime scene crews who clean that shit up. I have also learned a lot about how to survive a zombie apocalypse, which we all know I am eagerly awaiting. Apparently there are many other people eagerly awaiting the zombie apocalypse. MANY. OTHER. PEOPLE. People who have reminded me that I am much lower on the crazy scale than I had previously thought.

Even the Catholics are talking about it on a thread called Catholic Morality in a Post Zombie Apocalypse World. Take a look. I don't know what your conclusion is, but after reading that thread, my conclusion is that the Catholics are so fucked.

I was searching through youtube videos of lectures done by writing professors when I stumbled across an interview with Stephenie Meyer, author of the Twilight saga. I've never read her books or watched either of the movies, but since the Twilight brand is being marketed like the New Kids on the Block were marketed in the late 80's and early 90's, I am going to assume the saga is probably based on a grossly unrealistic fantasy wrapped in an edgy package aimed to titillate the minds of already media corrupted young girls and women. This topic was recently discussed in more depth on Twitch's blog. But, like I said, I am ignorant to all things Twilight, so debate among yourselves.

I couldn't find the original video I watched in which Stephenie Meyer explains how she was living a life as a stay-at-home mom of three boys when she became inspired by a dream and gradually began writing her first vampire fiction. However, the content of the following interview is similar.

I don't have anything against Stephenie Meyer. Whether I dig the Twilight phenomenon or not, I always give a thumbs up to people who are spending their lives doing what they love and gaining success at it. Double thumbs up to those who get movie deals.

However.

It irks me when people downplay their own success.

Writing fiction is hard. Really fucking hard. And even that is an understatement. Creating dynamic characters, an interesting setting, a realistic time sequence, and a plausible conflict that can drive a progressive and intriguing plot, and then fusing those things with natural dialogue, flash backs and back story, meaningful sub-characters, and personal growth transformed by inner dilemmas, and then painting those things into a unified picture by using technical and creative skill is a bit like weaving the blanket from hell. 

Like many other things in life, writing fiction requires an incredible amount of focus and dedication. You don't unknowingly shit out a best selling novel while playing mommy to three boys. I am sure the mothers who are reading this will give me an extra fist pump on that point. Before a person completes a novel, they live it and breathe it first.

I am not sure if people downplay their success because they feel almost embarrassed by it and are trying to display an aura of humility (this is not that uncommon among women), or, on the contrary,  if they want to be perceived as naturally talented: I am incredibly successful because I am just that special.

I am reminded of the infamous story of Stephen King throwing the first three pages of Carrie into the trash can and his wife retrieving them. That's the thing, when developing any creative skill, you struggle, you trip, you get rejected, but you stick to it, forge ahead, and learn as you go.

Being someone who wasted numerous years battling the Where will this go? Is it worth my time? perspective, it bothers me when hugely successful people downplay the nitty, gritty, and sometimes compulsive work that is almost always required in gaining success. The ups and downs, the passionate loyalty, and the gradual metamorphosis that is involved in developing an art form is the key factor that makes creating such a deeply meaningful endeavor. So why won't more people talk about it?

Hmph.