Wednesday
Aug122009
Step one: eradicate lifted trucks
August 12, 2009 D-Dub brought this article to my attention:
SGI clamps downs on souped-up trucks
Cranked-up trucks squatting on tractor-sized tires will be clamped down in Saskatchewan if they exceed limitations drafted by SGI's proposed raised-vehicle policy. Read more....
Saskatchewan implements new techniques to maintain cultural purity by driving Albertans out of the province.
Reader Comments (6)
And trailer hitch balls
I mean rubber testicles.
We were talking about this today too. I believe my exact words were "Fuckin' rights."
There's not much I hate more in this city than those jacked-up trucks. Hazard much? I always get stuck facing one trying to turn left, so I can never see the motherfucking traffic coming from behind it. Hate hate HATE them. AND the douche bags that drive them. Best move SGI's ever made.
Rubber testicles should have gone first.
That being said, I'd like to protest by hanging a rubber vagina with faux fire shooting out of it from the back of Bon Jovi. If Dead Rearians were witty, I could become known as Yeast Infection Girl. But they're not.
Those of us who have migrated to Alberta spend a lot of time making fun of "Douche Bag trucks", commonly known to signify small penises. In terms of them being a hazard, I haven't consciously been bothered by them (NOT LIKE THOSE EFFING CROTCH ROCKETS WHICH I HOPE BURN IN SMALL PENIS HELL), but driving is a lot different in Alberta, as Alberta has wonderful things called left turn lanes and arrows, and my personal favorite, left turn lanes with arrows. The last time I was in Saskatoon I made a couple left hand turns onto 8th street and I was reminded how turning left in that city is like playing Russian roulette. And the streets are so fucking narrow. In retrospect, they should banish large trucks altogether and endorse mopeds. Green and white mopeds.
As much as I hate douche bag trucks, I was never into Saskatchewan's boner for "social rules". Alberta is more into standing on the front porch with a shot gun while shouting profanities about government control and it seems to go better with my life agenda of "fuck off and leave me alone." So, I guess as much as I hate douche bags and rubber testes, at least this angle has meshed with my character.
I'm a Socialist. I share the SK boner for social rules, as long as they don't conflict with my own wishes for my life.
Anyway, the average person is a fucking moron and needs a strong arm to keep them on course. The smart ones find a way around the rules they don't like: I like to put myself in the loop-hole seeking category.
Shirt,
I hate any social rules and anything that would inhibit my ability to do as I please. I guess I might be a bit mean here but I don't believe in any government interference at all in individual lives, I'm more of a survival of the fittest type, probably due to my Sioux upbringing.
On the other hand I hate those raised trucks, and Crotch Rockets. If you're gonna ride a bike man up and either ride a Harley (my former choice of two wheeled testosterone fun) or a Redneck Engineer my current choice of two wheeled male plumage. Alberta sounds like Tennessee so far as the Shotgun Mentality. One of my favorite moments of living here was when someone from Michigan moved here (YES I was formerly Michigan but this wasn't me!) Then they filed a lawsuit against the farm next door for the odor that emanated from the farm. The judge said, you knew you were moving next to a farm when you bought your house didn't you? Then he dismissed the suit and ruled the person filing it had to pay 25 grand to the farmer for damages.
Another moment of Tennessee justice that explains why I truly love this area was the trial of a guy who killed another guy from the area. Guy number 2 was notorious for being a true speciman if human dickwadery. The Prosecuter made his opening argument, the defense was about to make there's when the judge said "Heck everyone knew that boy needed killin'" The he dismissed the case.
Love you Torr
MMbop